Kit Does Filk: “Catch a Bulbasaur”

I’m sure you’ve all see that rather clever Pokemon-edited chorus from “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” by the Proclaimers that’s been making the rounds on Tumblr and Facebook. I looked at it and went “Clearly the whole song should exist!” At two in the morning, because filk does that. So, I give you “Catch a  Bulbasaur”, Pokemon filk. It’s not just Pokemon Go; I referenced a lot of stuff from the rest of the Pokemon canon. (Incidentally, I have so much more respect for Weird Al now even if I still mostly don’t like his stuff. Writing this stuff so it stays with the existing tune and rhyme scheme is hard.)

Catch a Bulbasaur (500 Miles)

When I wake up, yeah I know I’m gonna be,
I’m gonna be the one one who gets them all with you,
When I go out, then I’ve got the ball ready,
I’m gonna be the one to catch them all with you.
When I get drunk, and a Pikachu gets me,
Then the one who’s gonna pick me up is you,
And if I haver, say I’m gonna beat Uxie,
Then the one who’s gonna Full Restore is you.

But I would walk five hundred miles
And I would walk five hundred more,
Just to be the one who walked a thousand miles
To catch a Bulbasaur

When I’m fighting, yes I know I’m gonna be,
I’m gonna be the one who beats the gym for you,
And when I level, and I finally catch that Mew,
I’m gonna pass Team Rocket’s clone along to you.
When I come home, after I catch that Eevee,
I’m gonna be the one to breed Eevees with you,
And in Kanto, I’m gonna beat Giovanni,
I’m gonna fight Team Rocket out of here for you.

But I would walk five hundred miles,
And I would walk five hundred more,
Just to be the one who walked a thousand miles
To catch a Bulbasaur

Pika-ka (pika-ka), Pik-ka (Pika-ka),
Pikachu pika pika pika,
Pika-ka (pika-ka), Pika-ka (pika-ka)
Pikachu pika pika pika,

When I’m lonely, then I’ll find a Togepi,
And it’ll keep me company when without you,
And when I’m dreaming, well you know I’m gonna dream,
I’m gonna dream of catching Entei to give you,
When I go out, I’m gonna swim with a Starmie,
And catch it in a Masterball for you,
And when I come home, I’ll be with a Butterfree,
And I’ll bring a legendary home to you.
I’m gonna bring a legendary home to you.

But I would walk five hundred miles,
And I would walk five hundred more,
Just to be the one who walked a thousand miles
To catch a Bulbasaur.

Pika-ka (pika-ka), Pik-ka (Pika-ka),
Pikachu pika pika pika,
Pika-ka (pika-ka), Pika-ka (pika-ka)
Pikachu pika pika pika,
Pika-ka (pika-ka), Pik-ka (Pika-ka),
Pikachu pika pika pika,
Pika-ka (pika-ka), Pika-ka (pika-ka)
Pikachu pika pika pika,

And I would walk five hundred miles,
And I would walk five hundred more,
Just to be the one who walked a thousand miles
To catch a Bulbasaur.